Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tonight I went to a small business class in preparation for my...Well, Holiday, my small business. So that I know how to take good care of her, and I can insure her future for when all of you fall as madly in love with her as I am.
Yes, yes, my first business class, it was the BEST... And terrifying! It was yet another stage for me to be cute and funny and interact with the people ;)... All of which I love and, quite modestly, am fairly good at. But the content of the class was, overwhelming and was all the nitty-gritty about being a REAL BUSINESS! The part I have always insisted I am lousy at! The stuff that paralyses me and makes me cry... Or really maybe it is just boring so I choose not to make it my priority, then cry when I screw it up? whatever the case, I have been saying, "I'm an artist" (in the tone of "I'm a blond") for so long now, that I actually believe it! But really who am I kidding... I am smart! AND I can totally pull this off! More then pull it off even, I think I will actually be really good at it. I AM organized... So why am I holding on to my cutesy, double right brained, glitter tornado,artist act???? Do I think it is easier being flaky (and feeling guilty) and just smoothing it over with cute, sweet ownership all the time? 'Cause I actually don't think it is easy, and I am sure it gets old for the people around me. It surely doesn't work on the IRS... It actually has been the source of my biggest insecurities... this behavior has kinda always been like a fat person just accepting that they were fat, well I have seen the biggest loser, and that is not how it works. People can change, and me too. Basically, I am not willing to use my art or whimsy as an excuse any longer. So guess what? This year... I am owning the entire left hemisphere of my brain! Just watch me rule it and you will see that 90% of everything is only what it is because you THINK it is what it is! I THINK I am organized! I THINK I am smart! I KNOW I AM GOOD BUSINESS WOMAN! So watch and see... If I can become this organized person that I know I already am, then YOU can be whatever you want to be too!
(above, representing this post, is one of my paintings from my other job entitled "all grown up")